How can I form new and better habits?

Author

Andrew Griffiths

Forming new habits effectively, involves understanding the psychology behind habit formation and implementing strategies that support behaviour change. Here's a step-by-step approach to forming new habits:

Know what you want and what you don't‍

Define the habit you want to establish (or stop), in clear, specific terms. Make sure your new habit or lifestyle will be rewarding and that you know why you want it. It may help you to write this down for clarity. To think in ink is a powerful technique for improving decision making.

Know what you don't want and why you don't want it. You must be really clear on this.

Use Habit Stacking‍

Pair your new habit with an existing habit or routine to make it easier to remember and integrate into your daily life. This technique, known as habit stacking, leverages the momentum of existing behaviours and achievements to support the formation of new ones.

Make the decision. Accept what you don't want as being in the past and move on.

Persist and Persevere‍

Building new habits takes time and effort, so be patient and persistent.

Identify Triggers‍

Identify cues or triggers that prompt you to engage in what you don't want. Create a plan to deal with these challenges or situations and move on.

Step through the illusion

When times are tough, your emotional mind may want the seductive rewards, from engaging with old habits, remember this is just a fantasy, it is not real. See yourself stepping through a window in time (and the illusion or fantasy) to the new you, where you want to be. Then enjoy this moment, because you have succeeded and moved on.

Comfort zones

‍You have more power over your life than you may realise.

Purpose

Having a very clear purpose in your mind will help you to progress to your potential.
When we have clarity, we have a clear understanding of our goals, values, and priorities, which enables us to make informed decisions and take purposeful action.
Clarity also helps us to communicate effectively, set realistic expectations and navigate challenges with confidence.

Clarity fosters focus and reduces ambiguity, allowing us to channel our energy more efficiently towards achieving our objectives.

Don’t compare yourself to anyone

You are different and how you got to where you are is unique to you. If you feel like a failure, remind yourself that this is not completely true. Remember you are not a machine, you are a human being with a survival mind (complex limbic system) that wants pleasure and the dopamine reward to depress the effects of pain. Do you really want the pleasure from your old habits? This decision you have already made.

Beware of the zone of lies.

Our mind can play tricks on us to get what it wants. When will-power and imagination are in conflict, imagination always wins. However, using will-power to step through the illusion of imagination will help you to block the seduction of this fantasy.

You need a purpose, a good reason for doing something that’s very challenging and to make the decision to do it. A very definite decision and at the right time for you. It's easy to make decisions when we are comfortable, decisions that we are not fully committed to. Pain + reflection may help you to know when the decision is right for you.

‍Beware of feedback.

Not all feedback is accurate or true. Some people weaponise feedback to sabotage others or hide their own mistakes, fears and weaknesses. Your achievements may make others feel bad about themselves and to consciously or sub-consciously want to sabotage your progress.

Beware of ambition

Ambition can sometimes lead to feelings of failure when things don't go as planned, prompting the mind to engage in unhelpful habits that offer a quick dopamine fix.